Point Guard - Rajon Rondo, Boston Celtics
What's not going for him:
1) Bug eyes
2) High cheek bones
3) Boney shoulders
4) Abnormally large hands
5) Wears green
AKA: Female alien.
Shooting guard - Delonte West, Cleveland Cavaliers
What's not going for him:
1) Ginger
2) Race unknown
3) Herpes mouth
4) Gross tattoos in bad spots
AKA: Ent from Lord of The Rings (thanks, commenter mrejr)
Small forward - Charlie Villanueva, Milwaukee Bucks
What's not going for him:
1) No body hair
2) Seriously. No body hair.
3) Not even eyebrows
AKA: Shaved cat
Power forward - Robert Swift, Oklahoma City Thunder
1) Ginger
2) Cryptkeeper Hair
3) Uncanny resemblance to the Flying Ginger Shawn White
AKA: Rocky Dennis
Center - Shelden Williams, Sacramento Kings
What's not going for him:
1) Excessively large forehead
2) Ears stopped growing at age 3
3) Eyes roughly 7-8 inches apart
4) Probably drank nerve tonic
AKA: Ken Griffey Jr. from The Simpsons
Also receiving votes: Chris "Caveman" Kaman, Joakim "My Precious" Noah and Adam Morrison (pre- and post-hair)
11 comments:
You forgot Anthony Mason, NY Knicks
Villeneuva has a disease called alopecia where he is unable to grow or maintain any hair.
That said, he could have an afro and zz top beard and still be fugly as shit
Popeye Jones should have gotten ugly hall of fame
Fixer - There's a lot of guys that could go on the all-time team, but I was going for current ballers. Mason would make the all-time second team.
NY - I was tentative to put Charlie on the list because I knew he had a disease. But, as you said, even with hair and eyebrows he'd be a clown.
Popeye Jones is atrocious. Theodore Hill, I believe is his name, would also make it.
Funniest blog I've read in a while...keep up the good work!
Thanks, Dallas.
No list of current ballers is complete without Hedo Turkoglu
robert swift may be in a class all by himself. are we sure he doesnt have a vagina?
Another expression of the brain-washing nba mentality. Ok, keep on loving your tall boring businessmen in suits who all look exactly the same with haircuts that look horrible, and let the real human beings appreciate a certain diversity in this cold and totally tasteless world of the modern nba...
dude scalabrine, or whatever his name is, too
hes like a big mound of gross pastiness
but great list...thats a lot of ugly right there
RONDO IS FCKIN CUTE
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